May Rule

WASTE YOUR TIME WISELY.

What? You might have read that and thought there was a typo in our May rule.

 

Nope.

 

Or perhaps, that I meant to say something else?

 

Nope, again.

 

Ok, I guess I could have written our rule to read, "use your time wisely" but what fun would that be? I don't think the idea would have caught your attention. (It definitely would not have caught my kids' attention) They generally know that time is precious or at least, they have heard the platitude a few times by yours, truly.

 

But, when I say, "waste your time, wisely" they stop for a moment and think to themselves with a crooked smile. They start to formulate ideas, wild ones but before they dare speak them, they want to be sure they heard right.

 

What did I say?? And that's where our dialogue begins.

 



i do, take two

Today is our wedding anniversary, 15 years!!!

Where does the time go?

So, how does one celebrate the occasion?

 

If you're us, you revise your vows and with a little help from your kids,

you say I DO, again with the biggest promise you can make, 

a PINKY SWEAR, and then you eat some cake!!

(Special thanks to Ethan and Reese as our officiant and photographer)

 

*** 

Dear Mom and Dad,

Today we celebrate your anniversary of 15 years of marriage. 

In honor of the vows you once made before family and friends, we wanted to help you renew your commitment to one another and to our family with a very special tradition – the Pinky Swear.

It’s the best way we know how keep a promise.

So please join hands, I mean pinkies, and get ready to say I DO, one more time.

 

***

MOM, do you pinky swear to take dad to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward?

 

Do you promise to love him, all the parts of him, especially his happy whistling like Bing Crosby in the morning and his singing radio hits from the 80’s and 90’s?

When you ask him a question, will you appreciate his one word responses like “Tuesday”, “Brooklyn”, and “Bob”?

Will you love his smile despite his lack of a foreign accent?

Will you support his habit for milk, naps and the weather channel?

Will you cherish the breakfasts he makes on the weekends, especially the bagel runs and the fresh pots of coffee complete with creamer?

Will you hold dear the SNOW he shovels, the grass he mows and the leaves he rakes?

Will you support his playful side in a fierce game of badminton, Othello or Mario Kart 8?

Will you look the other way when he breaks something a little bit more before he fixes it?

Will you forgive him when he says “no thanks” to pizza on some Friday nights?

Will you stay by his side watching Yankee games, building and sorting legos or just hanging out reading the Sunday paper?

And do you pinky swear to hold his hand like the first time, all the days of your life.

 ~ I DO ~

Dad, do you pinky swear to take mom to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward?

Do you promise to love her, all the parts of her especially the ones addicted to the Avett Brothers and listening to the same song over and over again on repeat?

When you ask her a question, will you look kindly on her long, drawn out answers, the kind that take the scenic route to Yes or No?

Will you love her despite all her life talks and have patience with her thinking and overthinking brain?

Will you support her habit of buying and returning things and making multiple drafts of her to do lists?

Will you cherish her week day attempts at dinner and her late night cups of weak tea aka Dippy Tea?

Will you hold dear how clean she makes our house just before a party?

Will you support her romantic side with lots of movie nights and accept the fact that some of these hours you will never get back.

Will you look the other way when she downloads another book on her Kindle?

Will you forgive her when she pretends not to hear your suggestion of doing some weeding in the garden?

Will you stay by her side when she is writing at the computer, watching clouds in the backyard or just hanging out watching House Hunters?

And do you pinky swear to hold her hand like the first time, all the days of your life?   

~ I DO ~

YOU CAN NOW KISS – YUCK! – AND BE MARRIED, STILL.

Now let’s cut the CAKE. YUM!!

 

Happy Anniversary, Love. xo

Inspiration Art - April

 

This month's inspiration art comes from a great story we read on Bored Panda.

"Ben Brucker was tired of the plain, bland walls at the office of the creative agency he works for, so he decided to do something about it. His solution was to cover the office’s walls with a series of pixelated superhero portraits made from a total of 8,024 post-it notes." - Bored Panda

Yep, you heard right, post-its!!!

Full article HERE

After reading, we decided to have some post-it fun, too. As a writer, I have TONS of post-its in my possession. They always come in hand to story board an idea.

I started working on the fridge, it didn't take long for the kids to join in.

 

Reese made a minecraft head...one of many from her collection.

 

Ethan went for a Mario villian, though our lack of black post-its made it hard to make out the full design.

 

Me, I went for a basic collage, no rhyme or reason to the pattern.

Then added our April Rule, Count Me In!

 

 

Talk about a BIG, BRIGHT reminder.

Post-it tally 1,357...we'll see if this month's rule sticks.

 

Happy Friday!

April Rule

Hello April - we've got another rule for you!

COUNT ME IN!

This month we are nixing words and getting lost in numbers. "Count me in" is about making the connection between us and the greater world, from nature, art, music, science, even comedy!

Numbers are everywhere. Some numbers like the price of milk are obvious. While others like last night's homework and that pile of Oreos you ate, we'd pretty much like to forget. Still, there are so many more numbers that exist hidden in the everyday. Some may surprise you. 

So why numbers?

I wanted to give the kids a new view of their everyday short of asking them to stand on their heads. Math gets a bad rap these days. I wanted to show them math outside of the classroom and why it's so good for our brain and future self....it's not just about smarts. 

Lastly, I wanted them to enjoy the language of numbers - the simple, the complex and the funny.

So this month we're going exploring. Should we count you in, too??

Happy Un-Valentine's To You

What's your idea of a perfect Valentine's Day?

If you have visions of a candle lit dinner for two complete with red roses, a big box of chocolates and the most perfect Hallmark card you ever did read, you might be sorely disappointed by this post.

Our Valentine's is not THAT day.

For us, Valentine's Day is more akin to Chinese New Year than one of cupid and arrows. We didn't intentionally start out to be contrary to the RED-est and PINK-est day of the year. It was more an organic shift that brought about our family "tradition".

On Valentine's we celebrate with a Chinese food picnic. The tradition started when the kids were antsy babies and we were tired parents. No one was attached to anything that wafted of vintage Valentine's and who didn't love some easy Chinese takeout for dinner?

I do remember making some effort to fancy up the occasion by getting out my wedding chinaware. Pretty dishes, Chinese food, it was a good start but when you have kids, even the easiest plans can start to look like a crappy idea. 

I remember us trying to have a conversation while sitting at the dining room table but there were shrieks from one babe and yelling from the other; a war was breaking out. No one was happy. The Valentine's moment wasn't happening and eventually David pulled his plate down to the floor almost in surrender to the witching hour that seemed to overtake our house.

Strangely enough, the kids relaxed when we moved it all down to their level. Maybe it was pure curiosity? What were we doing down here and look, there is food, too! I don't even have a picture of that first Valentine's though I am sure there was a camera nearby. I had pictures of so many other firsts during those years. That Valentine's disappeared into the night rather quickly, just like the Chinese food.

And now that the kids have grown up, the tradition is still with us.

Even though we are all capable of sitting at a table, we are still on the floor. Even though I am certain I have the best idea for a new meal in or a fabulous night out, we order Chinese. Even though they are  getting a taste of the goldmine of chocolate that is out there on this, the SWEET-est day of the year, when we ask, our kids still want, first and foremost, a Chinese food picnic at our house....and so we oblige.

One day I'm sure the tradition will fall away. I think it is starting to a little for me and David. But now with a baby on the way, who knows what new tradition may suddenly take it's place, again, either from curiosity or sheer sanity. Whatever it is, I can't wait to see what our next Valentine's will look like.

And I'll try my best to remember my camera for the occasion.

Tic Tac Toe, Anyone?

 

Here is our inspiration art, up on the fridge for February!!

 

We found this visual online. A mash-up of Tic-Tac-Toe and "think outside the box", the image really clicked with the kids - smiles and laughter equals bonus points.

 

It's one part simple, two parts playful and all around, a great conversation starter, which is what we need as we think about our February rule.

 

"Yes, You Can Break It"

 

Would you like to play a game?

 

 

 

 

February's Rule

Thank you all for your recent congrats and kudos on our baby news!

I have to admit, it was really tough to keep the secret to ourselves for the last few weeks. My apologies that all the excitement, nerves and hormones got me off track for much of January's postings. But we're back now and ready to "hit" February with our next rule.....

The kids LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the name of this rule although they are not completely sure what I mean by it...it's still a work in progress.

 

The original inspiration for this rule was a desire to "break the mold" on some ideals we've all learned (consciously or unconsciously). At the moment, our kids are growing up fast and are itching for more freedom. We are willing to give it to them but we also want to encourage them to question the world around them as they learn to find their own minds.

 

It's a tall order for just one month, I know, but this rule gives them the "mental" sledgehammer to do it.

 

To understand "Yes, you can break it!" is to know that there is more than one way through life. It is not simply black and white, thankfully, there is a lot of gray to be found but sometimes you have to be brave enough to look for it, you have to be willing to let go or "break" with what you know.

 

And that's where a rainbow opens up because to find the gray in moments is to remember that no one person or situation is one dimensional. Nothing is simply good or bad or right or wrong. There is more to life, more to any of us.

 

Shades of GRAY are everywhere!

 

I know. For all our talk of rainbows last month, GRAY is what came alive most for me beyond the shades of a sonogram. And I haven't stopped thinking about or noticing the many GRAYS in our days since.

 

So with this month's rule, permission is granted to push and pull on the everyday we know, to challenge and break "it" and see what shades of GRAY we can uncover and discover for ourselves.

 

xox

Happy Monday to ya!

 

 

 

 

 

Purple is a girl's best friend

 

In one moment, Reese nailed the color, PURPLE.

Purple glasses, purple unicorns shirt, purple book (MLP, a great read!), purple pants, purple sneakers and yes,

there are more purple stripes inside those sneakers!

 

What can I say, much love for my purple peep:-)

 

Happy Monday!!

Pass the Mallomar, Please!

5 Powerful Reasons to Eat Slower

Carlo Petrini: The Slow Food Gourmet Who Started a Revolution

Don't Be Fooled

 

 

Some thoughts on the brain....

 

WHY MULTITASKING DOESN'T WORK by Douglas Merrill/ FORBES

 

THINK YOU'RE MULTITASKING? THINK AGAIN. by Jon Hamilton/NPR

 

 

 

Slow Rules

 

 

CLICK HERE TO WATCH TED TALK

IN PRAISE OF SLOWNESS BY CARL HONORE

 

 

 

HELLO!

UP!

 November's month of double dares and mistakes is nearly over and we wanted to share a little bit of ART we made.

 

We were inspired by the movie, UP! (love it) and created a visual for all our hard earned mistakes this month. It was just another way to be curious and change the way we thought about mistakes. 

 

If you can learn from your mistakes, where will they take you? Up. Up. UP!

 

 

This month, everyone took ownership of their mistakes with a fingerprint and together, all those fingerprints became something more - all those lovely balloons!!! 

 

Reese even made her own special little house!

 

It's a work in progress but that's kinda the beauty of it all.
 

Success was hearing the kids talk more freely about their mistakes, almost at times, to the point of excitement.  It's a different kind of share and we like it!

 

So, even though November is almost gone, we're gonna keep at it, noticing mistakes and adding balloons and hopefully we will grow just like our artwork.

 

Happy Monday!

When Curious Is Hard

Some mistakes are harder than others. Being curious is much the same.

All this month, we had been collecting mistakes and feeling good. Mistakes had been making appearances in our dinner conversations and little chats here and there.

It was all feeling easy until it wasn't.

Ethan and I hit a brick wall this week on a repeat offender, a mistake that kept cropping up. Scott Berkun would call this an involved mistake for Ethan but honestly, it felt like I had more intertwined or "involved" in it. 

It was all about homework. Ugh!

I have to admit that as a parent, I struggle with letting my kids make mistakes about school matters.

It's hard for me to let them deal with the consequences of forgetting a book at school or handing in an incomplete assignment. They never forget their lunch or miss the school bus because I am always double checking.

Hi, I'm Nancy and I am still a recovering perfectionist.

So, needless to say, Ethan's choice to let the whole weekend slide before he looked at his homework left me feeling a little unsettled.

I told myself that he'll get the work done. That would be the end of it but then SURPRISE, he made the discovery that he still had a notebook project to do. It was now late, too late to cram it all in and the realization at the 9th hour left us both OUT OF CURIOUS.

I was upset. He was embarrassed and apologetic. We went to our emotional spaces and for a while, we just went in circles.  It was hard to pull out of our roles, parent and child. I knew I couldn't do it.

I'm so glad that Ethan could.

Somewhere in the midst of my parent speech about responsibility - or maybe it was perfectionism talking, it's still up for debate - Ethan just stopped me and said,
"I guess I made a mistake, mom, a really good one."

The awareness in his voice was a jolt. It was all I needed to hear to get out of my parent trap - I am the adult, listen to me - and meet him in that moment.

And can I tell you, it felt so much better to find curious again, to see what was next. To hear what he was feeling and what HE was going to do rather than hold on to my perfect hard lines that told him what he HAD to do next. 

Thanks, Ethan, that really was a good mistake, for you and me, both.

Curious Finds

 

This is my china cabinet. 

It looks like most cabinets except for one detail.  
Look closely....can you see it? 

    

 Light on china, heavy on books, my china cabinet is a glorified curio of words.

This is fine by me. My life was shaped by these books, these many stories.

 
Some books took me away from my everyday world...

...while other books brought me back to myself.

And still others are just precious memories that I never want to forget.
 

I have always loved books. STILL DO.

 

To peek into another life - real or imaginary - mistakes and all. 
Yes, you can bring on the mistakes!!

I can handle all the broken hearts of Austen.

I can rally and fight with the Three Musketeers, despite the odds.

I can laugh at the comedy of human error in Shakespeare.

I can sit with Linus in the pumpkin patch. 

 

I can hold on till the very end of every great story, every great mistake.

 

Dear Kiddos,
In honor of great tales, big and small, don't let go of your mistakes,

this week. Be curious of them, turn the page and keep going because

you, my dears, are the heroes of another great story!

xo
Mom

What's a little mud between friends

For all my talk last week about mud, I wanted to share with you another side...SWEET EATS!

My plan was to share a Mississippi Mud Pie recipe but all Reese had on the brain this week was milkshakes. Lo and behold, I found a Mud Pie Milkshake recipe! It just wasn't the type you find on a kid menu. 

No worries! Reese took a desserts cooking class at school last year and assured me she knew how to KID-I-FY this treat. 

All she needed was a little bit of DIRT.

REESE'S DIRT MILKSHAKE

1 pint of chocolate/vanilla ice cream - all chocolate, even better! Slightly softened.
1/3 cup of very cold whole milk
12 plus Oreo cookies (depending on how much DIRT you want in your drink)
Mallomars cookies for your topping

Directions:

Place 6 Oreo cookies in a ziploc bag. Get your fists ready and break them up, Wreck It Ralph style, till you have what looks like DIRT.

Place ice cream, milk and 6 more Oreo cookies, broken in pieces, into blender. Mix until you have a smooth consistency. 

When ready, pour into glasses (or Olaf's head) alternating layers of DIRT and milkshake. Don't forget, like we did, to save some DIRT for the very top layer of your drink. 

 

Top off your creation with a tasty Mallomar cookie or two!

 

 

It's not the ultimate foodie pic but quiet children and empty glasses

are the final word at our house on good eats.

 

After they slurped these milkshakes down, more sweet combinations and toppings came to mind for our next DIRT Milkshake. We'll definitely be making these again. Stay tuned!

 

 

For those interested, here is the original Milkshake recipe by Bobbly Flay that originally caught my eye.

Mississippi Mud Pie Spiked Milkshake Shots by Bobby Flay

Still a keeper amongst adult friends! Happy Friday!!

Know Your Mistakes

I like this quote. There's a challenge, an implicit dare in its words, but to see it, you need to get past the Big Bad Mistake in your head. 

I found this quote in my research of mistakes. (Who researches mistakes, you ask? Only me.)

You see, I wanted to be able to break down the word. MISTAKE. I wanted to take some of the charge out of it, make it more palatable as we dive into our own mistakes this month.

Thanks to Berkun's essay, I found some interesting information.

Did you know that the most common mistakes made by people can be broken down into 4 categories?

Or that the most complex mistakes, the worst of them (or best of them, depending on how you see things) are really a series of smaller mistakes? Who knew? For more insights, you can read Berkun's essay, HERE.

Knowledge like this can be a great starting point but action, the kind found in challenges (and double dares) keep us moving forward and striving for more, even in our mistakes.

So, can you make a mistake today and still be alright? Yeah, that feels do-able.

Friday night

On Friday night, we stayed in and read, I mean, WRECKED a book.

 

Ethan relaxed and chilled with one page...

(Figure out a way to FREEZE this page.)

 

 

...while David got cozy by the fire with another.

(Infuse this page with the scent of your choosing.)

 

 

Oh, no he didn't! Oh, yes he did.

Reese doodled on her page and got a green thumb.

(Trace your hand.)

 

...and me, I just drank my page away!

(Make a funnel. Drink some water...water is just a suggestion:-)

 CHEERS! Hope your weekend was GRAND!!

 

Friday Night Read: WRECK THIS JOURNAL by KERI SMITH